welcome to the texas report, part dos! our daily routine was something like: get up, eat grapefruit and english muffin while playing solitaire, do the day's activity, eat massive meal, head back to the park and relax in the motor home ("moho" for short). poor anna nicole.

the first full day we went to mexico, to the border town of nuevo progreso, which boasted many souvenir shops and lots of lots of dentists. seriously, dentists as far as the eye could see. unfortunately an increasingly pale carl fell ill with a stomach bug (probably picked up on the plane) and we had to cut the day short so he could go home and barf.

wednesday carl was down for the count, and my big outing was a ride around the development on the golf cart with mrs. gambrell, looking at the various pools and houses, all of which have interesting tchotchkes and vegetation planted around them. it was quite enjoyable, being out in the good weather and feeling the breeze on my bare arms. i hear it was cold up here in the noo yawk. suckas!

thursday we took a trip to the outlet mall, where carl failed to find the cheap sweaters he wanted, but did find many other good and cheap items. i purchased a pair of sunglasses, an eight-dollar banana republic bikini, and a six-dollar t-shirt. i also cleaned up at a deserted target, picking up this excellent swingy spring coat from the proenza schouler collection (size down, ladies). the gambrells were even patient enough to allow carl to run BACK into the target because he forgot to purchase sunglasses that would match his beard (hee!). upon our return to the little moho we were staying in, carl remarked that his toes were red and wondered if he was allergic to his new flip-flops. a few minutes later, we went over to the mama moho to show off our fashions, whereupon i felt something pinch the top of my foot. i kicked off my shoes only to find my feet and shoes positively crawling with red fire ants. which bite. oh my god, do they bite. painful! i screamed as i kept finding them. i am very much my mother's daughter in this regard. i would prove this later on that evening when a neighbor brought her yappy and evil little dog over to visit. "missy" kept attacking me and carl whenever we tried to be nice to it. once when she charged at carl, he drew his feet up onto the chair and squealed like a little girl. quite amusing!

friday we headed out to south padre island, where spring break was not yet in effect. we walked the beach and had a lovely bayside lunch complete with giant delicious margaritas. mr. gambrell unrelentingly charmed the pants off of our waitress, vicky, who was very nice (probably happy we weren't frat boys). saturday we were supposed to fly out, but were waylaid by fog. instead we spent several hours in the airport reading magazines, only to get rebooked for the following day. luckily the gambrells were biding their time waiting for us, and we spent some time in lovely downtown harlingen, eating at a 50s-themed diner and checking out the thrift stores. that night we ate chips 'n' dips for a late dinner. i've never had such good prepackaged guac!

that is my texas tale, complete. thank you gambrells!

i have a good excuse for not updating this time: i was in texas! carl and i took a somewhat last-minute vacation down to the rio grande valley (a misnomer, as it turns out), which is like the southernmost tip of texas. specifically, we were in the mission, tx, home of the ruby red grapefruit and football coach tom landry. it was lovely and warm there; i got to dip my feet in the pool and walk on sand. we were there to visit carl's hilarious parents, who live in a giant tour bus-like motor home. south texas is a huge draw for retired RV'ers, who are referred to as "winter texans." we stayed in an RV lended by some friends of carl's folks, who seem to know everybody in the resort, as well as what they did before they retired, what their children do, what their dog's name is, and any other interesting details about their lives. we learned all this information, it seemed. the gambrells are nonstop talkers: we got the vital details of approximately 500 people, as well as the process of picking saskatoon berries and the migrating patterns of the region's birds (not to mention illegal immigrants). hilariously enough, the parents acted true to carl's predictions: we were not in the car 15 minutes before carl's mom (hi sue!) spotted some wildlife: "now, carl, that's a cuckadoo bird over there...." a few minutes later she started off a sentence with, "now, carl, that's grass...." too funny. she also called him "bozo" a lot, which never stopped being funny. carl says they're crazy; i say they're a trip and a half.

this is only part one of the texas report. will post more photos and stories tomorrow, kids. bye!

p.s. happy birthday to new mom holly!